New Holiday Style Rules

  I was scrolling through some news stories on MSN.  This headline caught my attention.

"The New Holiday Style Rules"

 I decided that maybe I should check it out..... You know....to make sure that I am stylish.

Um....according to the Harper's Bazaar article....

I am defintely not....

nor will I be at any time during this holiday season.

Here are some of the new rules for you......just in case you wanna get stylish.

1.  White Feels Right - This rules says that you should wear white from head to toe, including white diamonds and white spiked heels.  And that you should wear lace and let your pretty lingerie peek through.

You think maybe this would at least count as partially stylish?

Rule #2.  Peplum is the new black.

I do not even know what that means....but this is the dress they showed for this rule.......

 so I'm not interested in 'Peplum'.

3. High Speed Lace - This rule says that it is a good idea to pair a biker jacket with neon lace. 

I guess I will be sticking with a more "low speed lace" the holiday season, because I am pretty certain these pants aren't made in my size.  And if they are.....they shouldnt be.

4.  Nude Awakening - The makers of these "new rules" say that you should wear a slip dress like this to holiday parties.....

If I wore THIS dress to a party....there would be an awakening all right.  Eyes would pop open!  This dress twernt taylored for those of us who breast fed three babies. 

Oh, and P.S......cellulite probably doesn't hide well in a nude colored slip dress.

#5. Festive Fetish - This one says that "When the invites for festive attire come pouring in" ....to have fun by paring fun fabrics like these PVC shorts with more traditional fabrics.

There are two problems for me with this rule.  #1...I do not have party invitations pouring in so much that I need to be creative with my 'festive attire'.  #2....I had no idea that PVC was used for anything aside from regular old plumbing.

I am guessing that my footprint snowman shirt wouldn't be exactly the type of 'festive' they had in mind.

Although, I could pair this cotton sweatshirt with a fun fabric like, say denim jeans, and be spot on with the fashion rules!

Now, all I need are some white diamond spiked heels and I will be set for the season!