Health OR Happiness?

Oh my....what a dreadful choice, but yesterday, I had to make that choice for Carter.

I picked happiness.

Our school has a basketball league that plays games against other kids in our county.  This league includes kids from 2nd grade to 6th grade.  Since my boys are obsessed with all things sports, they are always excited about their first opportunity to play a new sport.  Our current sports repertoire for this year includes 3 basketball teams, 3 baseball teams, one track participant, one soccer team, and one football team.  We basically live at gymnasiums and fields.

This year, Carter wasn't yet technically old enough to be a part of the basketball team, since the league begins at 2nd grade.  Except that the league has an exception.  If there is a team that is lacking in enough players, then a younger child is allowed to move up.  Our 2nd grade team only had a couple of players, so a couple of the 'little brothers' were asked to play to fill the team.

Carter was ecstatic with this news. 

He found out that he could play basketball a year earlier and immediately went to his room to dig up some shoes that looked like basketball shoes and some clothes that resembled a uniform.  He was thrilled for his first practice and was even more pumped about his upcoming first game.

Unfortunately, the day before his very first game, Carter came down with a case of strep. 

Argh!

He woke up with a fever, headache, stomach ache and sore throat.

We spent the morning at the doctor's office and pharmacy.  Then we spent the afternoon snuggling and watching television.

By the evening his fever had gone and he was eating a little bit. 

Before bedtime he asked,

"I am gonna get to play in my first basketball game tomorrow, right?"

I knew that he probably shouldn't play, but I also knew that if he felt better by morning, that I would totally consider it.

Carter slept well and woke up with no fever, but feeling draggy.  He promised that he felt better and he really, really wanted to play.  I knew he was lying about feeling better.

I caved.

I couldn't imagine telling him that he couldn't play.  He would just be so sad to miss it.

I pumped him full of the magic kid drug...aka Ibuprofen.....and we set off for the gym.

Perhaps, we made the wrong decision, because he wasn't very much help to his team.  

The first whole half he pretty much just stood around and looked dazed and indifferent.....like this.....

Poor kid.

I'm a loser.

I sent him out on the court to participate in a game that requires lots and lots of endurance and vigor.

He had neither.

Until...I gave him that second dose of the magic mood enhancing drug for kids....ibuprofen....which helped.

He started flailing his arms in defense to prevent the other team from scoring or passing the ball.

Even though he wasn't the star of the team...by any stretch of the imagination.....he managed to get through it.

He was happy that he got to play in his first game.

And luckily, his health has returned today.....even without the magic drug.

Today I have a happy AND healthy kid....who is looking forward to his next game.

Oh, and PS.....my middle kiddo, Sawyer (#34), had his first game of the season yesterday, too.

His team was awesome!

Sawyer was the king of the fast break yesterday.  He had a bazillion steals.

If he had hit all his fast break shots, we would've really raised some eyebrows with a super high score.

Except, most of our shots were missed.

So we won, but the score was only 10 to 1.

Still, I would call it a successful day.

Oh, and P.P.S.....

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Oh, Say Can You See?

Oh, say can you see him?  See that handsome young man on the front row in the navy and white stripped shirt? 

That one is mine.

That is a stage full of adorable third graders, but mine is the cutest.

Seriously.

I'm sorry for the other parents that they aren't the parent of the cutest kid on stage.

Ok, perhaps I am just a tad biased, but I sure think he's handsome.

The third graders at our school did a little President's Day program at our PTO meeting tonight.

The really did a fantastic job!

The songs they sang were wonderful.

The speaking parts were loud and clear.

And they were super cute.

Especially this kid......

 

And this handsome little fellow had one of the speaking parts.

He said.....

"...Conceived in liberty and dedicated to the proposition."

It was the best 8 words of the whole program.

It doesn't take much to make me swell up with pride.

How?

How did this itty bitty baby..........

Grow into this little guy with a strong will.....

...and this little guy with an impressive intellect.....

.......and how did he grow into this boy with noteworthy athletic ability..........

....and dashing good looks....

So quickly?

How does an itty bitty baby grow into a charming young boy in the blink of an eye?

I can't figure it out.

Nine years ago I cuddled a brand new bundle all wrapped in blue.

Today, I watch him. Amazed at what he has become in the blink of an eye.

Happy Birthday, Sawyer.

Sleep Deprived Snappiness

  My world gets instantly knocked off it's axis if I am sleep deprived.  I have always been that way.  Some people bob happily along running on 4-5 hours of sleep per night.  Not me.  I am not a happy along bobber without sleep.  In general, I am not really very moody.  I am pretty mellow.  Not much rubs me the wrong way and I don't get worried over much either.  But when it's bedtime....and I am ready to go to sleep....you better stand back....and let the Mama sleep!

  For a couple of nights now, Sawyer (my 8 year old) has had major trouble falling asleep.....and trouble staying asleep without nightmares.  I am not sure what has spurred this.  We don't watch scary movies.  We don't have mature video games at our house.  We don't fight at our house.  We don't have the kind of house that would foster nightmares. So, I am confused at what might be causing it. But....he tries to fall asleep and then invariably cames into my room and whispers....

"I can't go to sleep."

I try to give him suggestions to help him doze off, but what's a Mom to do?  It's not like I can force him to sleep.  By this point in the night it is sometimes after 11pm.  I know that this is not late to many of you, but to our household.....which is usually slumbering solidly by 9:30.....this is very late.

Then....to make matters worse for the sleep deprived Mom and Sawyer, we throw his nightmares into the mix.  He has been waking up during the night sweating with terrible nightmares and to help soothe him, he sometimes crawls into the bed with me.  Once he gets into my bed...the sleep is over for me.  I absolutely cannot sleep with a third person in the bed.  It's too hot!  And Sawyer is like a mini oven.  He's the hottest kid ever!

Two nights ago, I was already working off of too little sleep and then Bradley, my hubs, had a sleepless night.  He was up and down.  Taking a tylenol.  Using the bathroom.  Then getting a drink.  Every single time he got up...I woke up.  I was ready to put him in a choke hold, but I bit my tongue.  He wasn't keeping me awake on purpose.  It's not his fault that I am awakened when I hear the dust blow off a ceiling fan.   I am just a very light sleeper.

As we climbed into bed last night, I gently requested of my sweet hubs to keep the noise to a minimum so that I could finally get some sleep.  He sweetly brought my snappy tone to my attention and promised to try to improve his noise level. ........Ok, ok,......so maybe the conversation didn't go exactly like that, but anyway.....you get the idea.  The night had promise of producing sleep.

Just as I was entering the dream state......I felt warm breath near my face.  I heard the whisper....

"I can't fall asleep."

And this is the instant I snapped.  This is the instant that I felt like I would never, ever get to get a good night's sleep again.  This is the moment that my instincts to be kind and caring and loving were thrown out the door. This is the moment that I am certain my irises turned from blue to red and my female voice changed into the voice of a demon.  My evil Mom voice growled....

"Well, what am I suppose to do about it?!!  I can't make you fall asleep!"

It was dark, but light enough that I knew instantly that I had hurt his feelings by the look on his face.  He started whimpering.  I knew I had made a mistake, but I was so tired!  I was ready to cry from the frustration of losing sleep again. 

After my sweet boy was tucked safely back into his bed....away  from snappy Mom.....I crawled back into bed.  It was almost midnight by this point.  Good sleep was slipping away from me again.  I laid there wishing I had not snapped at Sawyer and felt the guilt wash over me. 

Then, I started to worry about him.  Is it normal for a young child to experience bouts of insomnia?  Could there be an underlying medical cause?  Was it related to his hypoglycemic symptoms?  Is he worried about something?

I suddenly felt like such a bad mother.

After lying awake for what felt like hours, I finally dozed off......only to be awakened by a crack of lightning, the rattling of windows and the rumble of thunder.  Over and over the lightning struck and the thunder rolled.  The rain pounded the roof and filled the gutters.  I felt like screaming a curse at the storm, but since I don't curse.....I just huffed.

This story doesn't really have a happy ending....yet.  I am hoping that since the storms have passed and everyone is exhausted...that perhaps tonight will be the night that we will all sleep.

I'm not sure this is even a story worth sharing, except that sleepless nights, and puke, and poop, and bad choices, and heartbreaks, and snappiness are all part of my life, too. 

I'm going to bed.

He Doesn't See What I See

I have very well adjusted kids.  They are smart, kind, funny, have great friends, athletic, and handsome.  They aren't perfect by any means.  They each have their flaws, as all people do. And perhaps, I even see them through rose-colored glasses, as all Moms do.  But I think all 3 of my sons are pretty remarkable boys.

Unfortunately, this is the way Sawyer pictures himself...

He insists that his neck is too long and looks like a giraffe's neck.  He says his ears are huge and his feet are gigantic.  He drew this picture of himself and brought it to me.  He giggled and said, "Here, I drew a picture of me."

At first, I laughed and called him a silly boy.  But then, I wanted to make sure that he knew how much I disagreed with the portrait.  I pointed out all of the things that were wrong with it and tried my darndest to convince him that he was very handsome.  He was unphased and continues to believe he looks like some sort of Ogre.

Sawyer is my least self-confident child.  For the life of me, I cannot figure out why.  He has every reason to think he is Hot Stuff! I think he is a very good looking kid.

He has long eyelashes, a smile that will light up the room, beautiful olive skin color, and a muscular build that other boys can only dream about.



One night recently at dinner, I had the camera and pointed it toward him.  He stretched out his neck and said, "Are you trying to take a picture of my freakishly long neck?"

Which just proves that he has a great sense of humor. 

I recovered by calling him a dork. ....I know, you are probably thinking that wasn't the greatest choice of words at this point, but it's a nickname we use endearingly at our house.... I said, "No, you silly dork, I am trying to take a picture of your muscles." 

I actually don't even remember what I was truly going to take the picture of.  I think maybe the food for a recipe blog?  Anyway, after I told him that I didn't want any pictures of his NORMAL neck, he gave me some silly muscle poses.

Sawyer has been given gifts.  God chose him. He chose to bless him with outstanding athletic ability.  He gave him mathematical intelligence well beyond his years.  He has a well developed sense of humor.  He has passion for football that is beyond belief.  And although he disagrees, I think he is very handsome. Sawyer is a beautiful spirit. Unique in so many ways. 

 I hope. I so hope.  That one day this phase of insecurity will pass.  And he will see what I see.

Not this.

But this.

The Eiffel Tower Is Next

  Today, I got the rare privilege of being a Mom during a school day instead of being the teacher.  I went with my middle son, Sawyer, on a field trip.  It was a lovely change of pace and a fantastic experience to get to spend the day with just one child at a time.

  Sawyer is not typically fearful. 

Unless, the task involves heights. 

Recklessly climbing trees?  No problem.

Touching sharks?  No big deal.

Watching a Tornado movie in IMAX 3D that made some children shiver?  That's nothing!

 But if you ask him to do something that requires some degree of height, then true fear becomes evident.  Several times today we encountered some situations that required walking a little "higher" than normal.  Each time the situation arose, I would feel Sawyer get closer by my side. And he would slide his little hand into mine.

Sawyer is my least affectionate child.  It's not a flaw, it's just that he sometimes shows his love in other ways.  I am not super affectionate either, so I understand.  But sometimes, getting a little dose of physical touch from Sawyer, even out of fear, is nice.

He never told me he was uneasy about the heights. He didn't have to. I knew.

Today, his little hand slid into mine and he snuggled up close to me on at least four occasions. He did it when we rode the escalator up three stories. He held my hand again when we went to the top level of the river boat and looked out over the edge. Again when we looked over the railing of the lower floors of the building and when looked down from the upper level to the lower level at lunch.

Each time he was tucked safely near me holding tightly to my hand, my heart did a flutter. 

 My smile broadened. 

I savored the moments. 

I decided that to ensure that I will continue to get affection from Sawyer, I am going to have to plan a trip to the Eiffel Tower.