Friday, October 21, 2011

This is Gonna Hurt Me More Than It Hurts You

At one time in my life, I thought these adults here......were crazy.

They are my parents.  Most of the time, I thought they were really smart.  But, when it was time for me to get a spanking and they used the saying "This is gonna hurt me more than it does you.", I honestly thought they were bonkers.  Certifiable. I thought they had lost their mind.  How could it hurt them more?  They were receiving NO physical pain!

Now I know.

They never were crazy.  They loved me more than I could possibly comprehend as a child.  They loved me beyond a love that I was capable of feeling.

I am now a parent.  A Mommy.  A Mom who loves her boys so much it can't even be described with words.  It can only be understood by other parents.

When one of my boys veers off the path and makes a bad choice, it hurts.  Knowing one of them chose to do something that is wrong breaks my heart into a million  pieces. And when they have to be disciplined, it truly does hurt me more than it does them.

It is so much easier to praise them for the good choices they make.  To cheer for them when they do fantastic things.  To applaud them when they show moments of greatness.

But sometimes, even good kids make a bad decision.  And I hope, with all the hope a Mom can muster, that one day.... day when they are parents themselves.... day when they can understand such a deep, deep love..... day, I hope they will understand that they are never disciplined out of anger, but out of love. 

And hopefully, because their wrong actions are corrected early...

We will be able to celebrate more of their moments of victory, of success, more moments of their goodness and more acts of kindness.

One day, my boys will read this.  I hope they always know that I love them with all my heart.  I love them when they succeed.  And I love them when they fail. The love I feel for them never changes.

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